I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
