She's JV to your varsity
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
