Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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