I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
