on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize