How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm always down for nudity.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
