the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
