I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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