Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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