I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
