Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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