alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
