so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
