i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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