The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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