If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
