Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
third nipple confirmed
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
