I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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