We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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