on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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