Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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