This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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