WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
