I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
