Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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