I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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