when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
