thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize