yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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