why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
worst night to have a conscience
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
