Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
