She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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