I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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