My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize