I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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