Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
