Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
