im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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