I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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