HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
