Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
