I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The adults are the big ones right?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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