good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i came on her dog
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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