she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
