I swear she didn't look like that last week.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
