but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
