Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
