There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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