where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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