yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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