so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
