What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
