Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
