What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize