HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
