Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
