I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
