I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
