her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Randomize
