woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
