I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
