How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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