People in love make me want to vomit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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