Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
