You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
