Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
