Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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