and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
