ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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